When does it get old?

Hoboken, New Jersey, July 2008

Image via Wikipedia

When you start out in a relationship, you have sex 3-4 times a day at least! You just roam around and discover each others bodies and pleasure points. You simply can’t get enough, you just want more and more and more…

Then as time goes by, the sex dwindles as the feelings become more intense… I often think that it is one of natures true curses, at the time you start getting really comfortable with each other as people in each others lives, the sex starts becoming less important or at the least takes less of leading role. Why is this? Everybody that has had sex with someone they were in love with, knows that sex with feelings is always better with feelings than sex without. There is just no getting around that, not to say that sex with a stranger isn’t a hell of a lot of fun!!! But lets be honest, feelings come in – sex starts dwindling. And don’t even get me started about when you get older and kids get into the picture. And in a society where we are constant pleasure seekers, we want immediate satisfaction, we want to experience new things, we want to play on the border between this side and the other, we have a tendency to get bored really quickly. Having sex with the same person just doesn’t ring that bell for us any longer, as least not as much! And we really want that bell to ring!!!

So what should we do? Is it simply a matter of human evolution to admit that we are not supposed to monogamous creatures? That we are not meant to be with the same person for our entire life? Viewing how nature functions around us, monogamy is the minority in the animal kingdom! It is an inherent trait in us that we need new meat, we need the hunt, we need the hormone boost that comes of having sex with a new person. So should we simply call it quits and act as if there is no more to do? Should we stop getting into relationships? What is this obsession people have with sex and sexual attraction?

True, we are sexual creatures! And who can say that they don’t love the feeling of the first kiss, the first time a new girl takes you in her mouth or a guy goes down on you and delivers you to ecstasy? Everybody remembers those feelings, everybody wants to feel like that. People look back at those times in their lives with fondness and more often than not, a wish to experience it again. So should we simply separate relationships from sex? But if so, what happens with the really good sex – the sex with feelings? The sex that you have when you are with someone you love and you look into their eyes and feel the true connection of two people becoming one! The feeling you get where it is like you melt together, the feeling we all aspire to get.

Is it simply a matter of us having to choose between the exciting feeling of having exceeding amounts of sex with someone new and undiscovered or having the great sex with feelings with someone we love and trust? Or is there a way for us to get both?


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