Feeling trapped

Trapped (Australian TV series)

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As a restless soul, there will always be a feeling of being trapped. Trapped in a country, trapped in a grind, trapped in a relationship, trapped in a situation. We all have them and especially restless souls have them more than others.

Sometimes I look at my friends and family and see how utterly content they are with their lives. They have jobs, families, maybe an apartment or a house… they are totally happy with doing the everyday thing. They are secure in their lives and have no need to change it. When looking at that, I get an ambivalent feeling. Because even though I would hate to live like that… maybe a house in the suburbs, a dog, a normal family life, etc. I also think that it would be great to feel like that. Feel that sense of security and not always feeling like there is something new and better out there waiting for you. Just happy to go to work from 9-5 and coming home to your little house and doing the same old thing day after day.

For me it’s different. I have traveled all over the world, partying, studying, diving, working, living in all continents. I have had the most amazing experiences and met some incredible people. If I hadn’t my restless gene, I would maybe never have done any of that. I might be the person living with my high school girlfriend, 2,4 kids, a little house, a god job, secure financial situation.

Would that have made me happier at the moment. Probably not. But when you are back in a cold country (and I’m a tropical person) and haven’t been able to find a job for the past 6 months… then of course you start to wonder. Would it have been better to just take the other road, the conventional road through life? If I had the chance to do it all over again, no matter the grief that I sometimes find myself in, would I in fact do it?

The answer is unequivocally YES!!! I have loved my life and I have enjoyed it… for the most part! But it has been exciting, I have done stuff most people only dream of doing. I have told my boss at my well-paid job that I quit in order to go see the world and find my self. So did I find myself? Did I change anything?

Who knows? Time will tell. Right now I am back in the same country I left and I am having a difficult time in finding a job because of the whole financial crisis thing. On top of that I am competing for the same jobs as people who are already employed. So basically Restless Souls might seem immature or not serious to employers. But when it comes down to it all… who is most serious and most mature? A person who dedicates their entire life to their career or a person who at least is willing to throw it all out there and see if they are able to sink or swim in the big world.

So am I tired of not having a cool job or knowing what to do? YES! Would I do anything over? NO!!!

Plus I met my girlfriend while I was out traveling and she is moving here with me in a week… so it’s not really all that bad 🙂

 

So every time a restless soul questions their life decisions, just remember all the stuff that you have experience, all the life you have lived to the fullest, and you will know that you made the right decision. No matter how tough or bleak the situation looks right now… the sun will rise again tomorrow and with that an endless array of possibilities.

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