Alcohol + Cell phone = Male Castration

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend that consisted of him telling me that he does “man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes” and that I’ve been “trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man” but “that shit ain’t right”. Then he vomited. More than once. Loudly. FML What is … Continue reading

The Forbidden Kingdom…

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, ‘I wish you liked anal.‘ FML So true, it’s quid pro quo!!! There will always be stuff about each other that we wished were different, and often it is more the idea of something that puts us off than … Continue reading

The Final Fantasy…

Today, my boyfriend suggested we imagine each other as someone else when we had sex. I imagined he was Tom Cruise. He imagined I was my best friend. FML Talk about setting yourself up for a rude awakening, this should probably be telling you something! Why would your boyfriend even want to imagine that you … Continue reading

Grow a pair…

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML So your wife is checking the time while you are having sex? Well what does that tell you? Apparently men are no better at playing the “I feel sorry for myself game”!!! If your wife is checking the time while you are … Continue reading

Do you want some cheese with that whine???

Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML Tody I found this on Fmylife.com! This is so funny and true about guys and girls for that matter and I will tell … Continue reading